The Need for Creation

Self care is not in the large things. The victories are externally small and mundane but internally immeasurable. 

I know I talk about this topic quite frequently but, as it is a central problem in my day to day life, I keep wanting to write about it.

My current summer routine is to stay up until 3:30am, sleep until 1pm, and go to work at 4pm. There are some exceptions in there but it stays pretty consistent. What do I do while I'm awake and not at work? Usually shut off my brain and consume the internet. Why? Because sometimes it is too hard to push myself to productivity or believe I could be so. So I slip off into a near-unconsious state of internet surfing knowing the whole time that I shouldn't. Same applies to sleeping so late; I do it because consciousness is hard. 

So how does this translate into self care? 

Exercising my mind and body.

Reading a book or writing -- actively working my mind and not letting it slip into passivity.
Doing some simple exercises or stretches. Even hoping online to open up a yoga video to give me something with structure. 

Personally I find that I feel drained and empty allowing myself to operate passively. Actively comprehending knowledge or plot from a book or pushing my body to embrace challenge for it's betterment make me feel alive, real, individual, and the potential for contribution and creation.

Anything is good in small doses. Over sleeping and internet consumption have always been a form of escape. Turn off, shut down, and reality doesn't exist. 

You are a unique, competent individual. Choosing to become merely passive and consume other people's work, lives, and thoughts is a disservice to yourself, who you can be, and what you can create.  Human beings possess an innate desire for creation.

Creation is not limited to pencil or word but is in everything you, well, make. A meal, family, house, anything that you have taken, shaped, and put yourself into.  It makes us feel alive.