writing

I have found a good way of dealing with myself when I am feeling not the greatest or falling into my old habits and triggers... writing. 
It is so therapeutic for me to write about my feelings or situation as if it's happening to a character in the third person. For example:

"Pieces of hair fell across her paper forming a pile of dark brown strands. Damn it! Stop! Alright, breathe. She put her hands on her thighs and rubbed her hands over her dark blue jeans, knee cap to hip, over and over, concentrating on the methodical action. You can’t afford to pull anymore. You’ll be happy you don’t. Please… breathe. Shakily she again picked up her pen..."

Hurp durp. I love writing. Have a good day!

with love,

Liz

break

Winter break...

Relaxing, reading and writing before starting it all up again for spring semester.

snow

The worst times usually have the best highlights. I was studying for an exam on a snowy day with Molly and Connor and then Connor surprised us with huge cookies :) Walking to class the other day people were hanging out free hot chocolate and playing Christmas music. So simple, so sweet, so awesome. 

poetry tips

It's finals week!!

 Although so much of our homework and school work in online now-a-days and most of us use computers, I am still a huge advocate of good ol pen and paper. For example, right now I'm writing about 10 poems simultaneously. No fun. Anyways, I have been getting alot of writer's block. To combat this I've taken to printing off whatever I have typed up and marking it up the old fashioned way then re-typing my revisions on the computer. A change of medium usually helps jog my sluggish mind.

Hope this helps any of you fellow writer's -block-havers :P

God bless & good luck!

With love,

Liz

Coffee and Nails

It's the little things. 
Yesterday one of my friends popped up at my dorm with a large coffee she had bought for me then gave me a hand massage and did my nails. 
What?! 
It literally made my day. Just little actions that prove that I crossed somebody's mind and they think I'm worth spending their time and efforts on absolutely rock my world and blow my mind, to be cliche.

sunny sunflower

"Learn from the way the wildflowers grow."

I still need to get it colored in but I am absolutely in love.

God bless :)

Murp&Fail

There is so so much strength in admitting weakness. 
{it's about to get real personal up in here!}
This morning was my first day back on campus after fall break so I should be pretty relaxed, right? Last night I had a huge spike of anxiety as soon as the car made the turn up the hill work, stress, books, people, drama, stubble bus, go team fail go! murp. Que some despairing comment from me and a sassy rebuttal about how I am so lucky to even go to college. How comforting. 
I have a destressing routine of power walking around campus with earbuds in, music blasted. I absolutely love it. So I stormed around for awhile, met up with Melissa, ate, and of course ran into a whole onslaught of stress-causing people. *eye twitch*
Back to the room and Molly and I share our thoughts on the stupidity of this and that Franny mentality (she went to DC and apparently the girls fall in to 'incapable-damsel-in-distress' mode when taken out of The Bubble) and then went to bed. Well, she went to bed. I cannot for the life of me fall asleep when I need to. So, awake I lay, trying not to lay on my fresh shoulder tattoo and lamenting the fact that I'm not already asleep.
7am rolls around. Molly wakes me up to go to a holy hour with her. I half awake mumble my excuses and fall back asleep. 8am comes and I shut off my alarm. I have an 9am and 10am on Mondays (along with a 12,1 and 4) and I skipped them both. As I laid there, I was over come with an irrational yet crushing inability to wake up and drag myself out of bed. I didn't want to be awake -- I wanted only to slip away to unconsciousness. I didn't want to deal with class, with the people I'd run in to from here to class or even Molly seeing my tattoo and lecturing me about how I'm failing at life. 

***

I 've admitted to myself that I need help. When I can't get myself out of bed, can't keep myself from pulling out my hair, picking at my skin and can't get myself to sit down with my huge pile of work without having a huge anxiety attack, I know something's wrong. 
I like to be self sufficient. I like to deal with myself by myself. But I can't. I will never learn the things I want to, do anything with my life, or even just be of help to others until I get myself at a stable place. 
Seeking out help is rarely in weakness. It's such a strength to admit your abilities and the need for somebody else's.