wait

But at the end of it all your storm will pass, your heart will feel, and your mind be at ease

Be patient, be strong, and your reward shall come.

VITALITY

So the last bunch of days haven't gone too well -- I've been more suicidal than normal and had a really hard time willing myself to live let alone do all of the many things I need to do.

But it passes. And I'm here alive on a gorgeous day where the sun finally peaked its head and birds were warmed to chirp. 

Here were some highlights:

*A long walk just taking it all in.

*Coffee.

*Photoshoot & "witty banter" with Melissa per usual.

*A friendly wave from the guy I thought I scared away for life.

*A conversation that lasted 3 cigarettes each with a friend, Max. I love it when people confide in me.

*Dancing like a fool during softball practice.

*Fielding grounders pretty well for once :P

*Getting a wonderful back rub from the wonderful Katrina.

YAY LIFE.

with love,

Liz

Valentine's Day

It's funny how things can go against our expectations. Since I broke up with my boyfriend in the summer, yesterday was my first "single Valentine's Day" in 5 years. I went through the stereotypical feelings of "Down with Valentine's Day!" but it ended up being one of the best to date.
The day before, I received two "Crushes" from two friends:

The next morning -- on the dreaded day itself -- I came into my 10am class to find this on my desk:

=) that made me so so unbelievably happy!
Then I checked my mail and I had some homemade brownies from my mom which reminded me of home. Lemme just say, my mom makes some kick-ass brownies. 
Later that night I went with Melissa and Annie to Latinos For Christ's event in our student center. We went with the intent of getting food and leaving (yes, we are wholly embracing our role as college girls)  But we ended up staying for over an hour dancing and letting loose. I am generally a reserved person. If you know me, I will dance like a fool in front of you, otherwise, NO. But that night I busted out my knowledge of salsa and other Latin dances and really enjoyed myself. Ethan and I made up dorky little Zumba routines to some of the songs -- and yes, our exercise tape is coming out soon on VHS compete with short-shorts and sweatbands.
After that we went to see my friend Mike and his little brother Dave at the former's dorm. Mike has been one of my good friends since we were 11 and I am so happy we have remained so. During the night we snuck around his dorm shamelessly seeking the room of a guy I find hella attractive  and have affectionately named "attractive pixie boy" :) So Mike and I found his door, left a note, ran away, and battled it out in ping-pong. 
The night ended with a long talk with Melissa and then my 12:45-1:45am Holy Hour. It was a good day & I am so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

with love,

Liz

writing

I have found a good way of dealing with myself when I am feeling not the greatest or falling into my old habits and triggers... writing. 
It is so therapeutic for me to write about my feelings or situation as if it's happening to a character in the third person. For example:

"Pieces of hair fell across her paper forming a pile of dark brown strands. Damn it! Stop! Alright, breathe. She put her hands on her thighs and rubbed her hands over her dark blue jeans, knee cap to hip, over and over, concentrating on the methodical action. You can’t afford to pull anymore. You’ll be happy you don’t. Please… breathe. Shakily she again picked up her pen..."

Hurp durp. I love writing. Have a good day!

with love,

Liz

break

Winter break...

Relaxing, reading and writing before starting it all up again for spring semester.

snow

The worst times usually have the best highlights. I was studying for an exam on a snowy day with Molly and Connor and then Connor surprised us with huge cookies :) Walking to class the other day people were hanging out free hot chocolate and playing Christmas music. So simple, so sweet, so awesome. 

poetry tips

It's finals week!!

 Although so much of our homework and school work in online now-a-days and most of us use computers, I am still a huge advocate of good ol pen and paper. For example, right now I'm writing about 10 poems simultaneously. No fun. Anyways, I have been getting alot of writer's block. To combat this I've taken to printing off whatever I have typed up and marking it up the old fashioned way then re-typing my revisions on the computer. A change of medium usually helps jog my sluggish mind.

Hope this helps any of you fellow writer's -block-havers :P

God bless & good luck!

With love,

Liz